Ground zero

I want to write about a lot of things. I have had my share of bad decisions. Or  may be they were good decisions because I thought they were good at that time. I made new friends and lost some old friends. I changed careers. I changed my country. I changed everything around me. Few years ago I was a completely different person. 

Sometimes I sit down and ask myself why I did all these things? I am a person that likes change. I take impulsive decisions. Easy and normal life is mundane to me. I love when I can feel completely different with everything tomorrow than how I felt today. Even if I feel the most happiest today, I still want to test my tomorrow to see if it could be more exciting. I love living in fantasies. I will never change this about myself. 

I wrote about this on Facebook today. I feel like some people can make things happen effortlessly. But I had to build my empire from zero. I have very few friends that support me and encourage me. My YouTube channel is my biggest project and I love how far it has come. But, it is real hard work. To have people continuously be interested in it is hard. Because most people I was advertising to were either just my acquaintances , or my husband's friends that don't know me much, or people that secretly wished I never succeeded or people who are holding grudges against me for something that happened ages ago. I can't change what I did when I was in my teens and early 20s. I didn't even respect my parents that much let alone anyone else. Nothing mattered to me at that time but myself. 

I lived my life in a blur when I was in my early 20s. I took crazy decisions and did crazy things, I experimented with my life. I was like a naive chemistry student that was let alone in a lab with all the chemicals possible and some one yelled to him "Mix whatever you want, however you want and in any proportions you want. Everything is reversible".  I did just that. Little did I know that not every chemical reaction is reversible. I took a wild roller coaster ride. I am at the bottom now. I look back at the near death experience and tell myself "It was great, I survived and I will do it again but give me a break". My dreams growing up were.. hmmm.. I don't really I think I feel confident enough to share yet.

Today I have big dreams. I am on the peak in the roller coaster ride refusing to have that scary fall. I will stay there and panic but I won't let the ride be over. I will not let anyone get in my way of success. I will count my blessings everyday because apparently they multiply when you wake up each morning. Worth a try, isn't it? Dream big always. I have many role models that had many failures initially. But they never gave up. Giving up is for the weak. Life's lessons have made me stronger. 

I am on the right path. I know life is going to hit the rock bottom. But I will always believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Also, my first week at my new job was amazing. I can't wait to update my data science section on that. 

Thats all for now. Don't forget to check and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Link to latest video is below

Lots of love

- PA <3