Ground zero

I want to write about a lot of things. I have had my share of bad decisions. Or  may be they were good decisions because I thought they were good at that time. I made new friends and lost some old friends. I changed careers. I changed my country. I changed everything around me. Few years ago I was a completely different person. 

Sometimes I sit down and ask myself why I did all these things? I am a person that likes change. I take impulsive decisions. Easy and normal life is mundane to me. I love when I can feel completely different with everything tomorrow than how I felt today. Even if I feel the most happiest today, I still want to test my tomorrow to see if it could be more exciting. I love living in fantasies. I will never change this about myself. 

I wrote about this on Facebook today. I feel like some people can make things happen effortlessly. But I had to build my empire from zero. I have very few friends that support me and encourage me. My YouTube channel is my biggest project and I love how far it has come. But, it is real hard work. To have people continuously be interested in it is hard. Because most people I was advertising to were either just my acquaintances , or my husband's friends that don't know me much, or people that secretly wished I never succeeded or people who are holding grudges against me for something that happened ages ago. I can't change what I did when I was in my teens and early 20s. I didn't even respect my parents that much let alone anyone else. Nothing mattered to me at that time but myself. 

I lived my life in a blur when I was in my early 20s. I took crazy decisions and did crazy things, I experimented with my life. I was like a naive chemistry student that was let alone in a lab with all the chemicals possible and some one yelled to him "Mix whatever you want, however you want and in any proportions you want. Everything is reversible".  I did just that. Little did I know that not every chemical reaction is reversible. I took a wild roller coaster ride. I am at the bottom now. I look back at the near death experience and tell myself "It was great, I survived and I will do it again but give me a break". My dreams growing up were.. hmmm.. I don't really I think I feel confident enough to share yet.

Today I have big dreams. I am on the peak in the roller coaster ride refusing to have that scary fall. I will stay there and panic but I won't let the ride be over. I will not let anyone get in my way of success. I will count my blessings everyday because apparently they multiply when you wake up each morning. Worth a try, isn't it? Dream big always. I have many role models that had many failures initially. But they never gave up. Giving up is for the weak. Life's lessons have made me stronger. 

I am on the right path. I know life is going to hit the rock bottom. But I will always believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Also, my first week at my new job was amazing. I can't wait to update my data science section on that. 

Thats all for now. Don't forget to check and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Link to latest video is below

https://youtu.be/MHBVw0G7DBI

Lots of love

- PA <3